Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I called the local German hospital today.  I have a plantar's wart.  I have had it for almost a year and a half.  It started as a small irregularity on the ball of my left foot.  I identified it pretty early.  I had been taking the kids to the water park a lot and I had taken a shower at yoga here and there....I knew what it was and where it likely came from.   I have read this virus can be self- limiting...meaning it will go away on its own, usually it takes about two years or so.  YES, TWO years.  I thought I could deal with that diagnosis.  It could be worse.  I could have HPV in other areas of the body.  I have some perspective, I don't have one of these on my cervix, so I decided to hang with it.  Let it limit itself, right?   After using two different OTC remedies (the little patches and the frozen can thing) I saw an MD.  He froze the damn thing three times.  These things are hearty, I guess.  I tried apple cider vinegar and duct tape.  The freaking thing turned black so many times I can't count!!!  I even dug at it like crazy, it bled....Alot.  I really wanted it gone.  Alas, it is not gone.
Last night I woke up with hot sharp pain in the ball of  my left foot.  The site of said wart.  Prior to waking up I had a terrible dream about this stupid wart.  I won't go into details, but I had the UGLIEST wart one can imagine on my foot....then I woke up.  And it hurt, this stupid virus that I have lived with for over a year is starting to affect my sleep.  Seriously?  I can't really imagine something more silly. 
I have been avoiding using our health insurance because it requires us to see local physicians...if you want to see a doctor before the next decade starts.  I could go to a clinic on base, I just have to wait for a "space-available" slot.  Then we have to pay first and submit it to the insurance company....shitty.  So today I called the German St. Johannis Krankenhause.  I really assumed there would be acceptable customer support in calling since their website is in German and English.  WRONG.  I called, a woman answered.  I politely greeted her and immediately asked if she spoke English.  She said, "A little".  I know what that means as  have said it in Spanish multiple times.  I'm taking a German class, I could ask to make an appointment, if I had done some study but wouldn't get very far in anything after that.  So, I cut to the chase.  "I need an appointment with a doctor and I am a new patient."  I was politely put on hold (expected and totally fine).  The phone rang back to the same woman three times, she kept putting me on hold when I asked to speak English.  Finally she took me off hold and just laid the phone on the desk.  I could hear background chatter....really chatter when you don't understand the language.  After a few more minutes (total of >5) a woman (I assume it was a different one, but could have been the same) picked up the phone and said a long German sentence.  I just said, "Nein Danke" and stammered to say something else....during my stammering (which only lasted .25 seconds) she said, "Ok, Tschüss!"  And hung up the phone.  There may have been some other words I don't recall because I've blocked it out. :)  So after holding the phone to my ear for almost seven minutes I got nothing.  Except for the knowledge that the German hospital switchboard operators don't necessarily speak English nor do they care to really be of any help.

Honestly, I don't really hold any hostility against my last statement.  I can only imagine my attitude for people who don't speak my language expecting me to help them with their problems.....OH WAIT!!  I freaking did that at work all the time.  huh.
That is all.   Miss everyone, thanks for reading..  xoxoxoxo